


Say Something; I'm Giving up on You

by Kylo Hux (Loki_Likey_Thor_Odinson)



Series: You Touched Me, and Suddenly, I was a Lilac Sky [33]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Anger, Angst, Explicit Descriptions of Force Choking, Grieving, HUX my son, M/M, Mourning, Non-Canonical Character Death, Ren my por bbu, What are people asking me to do to you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-23 18:23:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6125863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loki_Likey_Thor_Odinson/pseuds/Kylo%20Hux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>I found you in pieces, you'd been torn apart; a million-one reasons to end before we start.</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Say Something; I'm Giving up on You

There was an influx in the Force, Ren felt it. Snoke was using an extreme amount – an _absurd_ amount – and Ren had to take a breath. Laying down, staring at the ceiling of his quarters, he felt like the Force on the ship was heavy, gravitating, and it felt like it was crushing his chest.  
  
Ren squirmed uncomfortably as each second wore on, and as Snoke’s Force got stronger and stronger, Ren struggled to breathe.  
  
Then, just as suddenly as it began, it ended, and Ren found his breathing erratic as oxygen flooded his lungs.  
  
_Ren, you’re needed_.  
  
Snoke’s head echoed around Ren’s head and he took another breath, relaxing himself before he forced every single wall Snoke had ever given him up before he stood. He felt the absence of his mask, destroyed in the blast, and instead, ran a hand through his hair.  
  
Within minutes, he was leaving his chambers and Ren was quick to make his way to the hologram room, taking deep breaths as he did so. He paused momentarily outside of the room to ensure his walls were up, his mind open only to Snoke, to make sure his mind was clear, and free of any thoughts of his Mother, free of any that may betray any sort of emotion before he entered.  
  
It was dark, and it took Ren a moment to register the scene in front of him.  
  
A dozen workers lay dead on the floor, eyes bulged – it took Ren mere seconds to realise that they’d been Force Choked, and that was the influx he had felt. A shudder crossed his frame for the smallest of seconds before Ren turned his attention to the hologram of Snoke – only for his heart to stop.  
  
“You have failed in your orders, Ren.”  
  
“S-Supreme Leader?”  
  
Ren stuttered his words out, staring at Hux on his knees, back to the hologram, hands twisted behind his back. His head was bowed to Ren, but now was yanked back – Ren felt the tug of Snoke’s force – to reveal a blackening eye and blood dripping from Hux’s nose and mouth.  
  
“Supreme Leader, if I might ask, what is the meaning of this?”  
  
“You fell in love with the good General.”  
  
Ren swallowed hard. Hux looked away from the Knight.  
  
Snoke demanded both of their attention – Hux cried out as his hair was yanked back hard, snapping his head back as far as it would go.  
  
“You have failed in your orders, Ren; I told you. Knights of Ren have no time for emotions.”  
  
Hux was forced into the air, his legs hanging limply. Ren realised that his right leg was twisted, and there was a compound fracture on his right – the bone had protruded from his uniform.  
  
He fell to the ground and ground out as a sickening crunch surrounded the room.  
  
“Kill him, Ren.”  
  
Ren stared up with wide eyes at Snoke, struggling to breathe. “E-Excuse me, Leader Snoke?”  
  
“ _Kill him_ is what I asked of you. You will take your lightsaber from your belt, and you will power it on, and press it _slowly_ through his chest, piercing his heart as you do so.”  
  
Ren’s hands shook as he slowly picked his lightsaber up. His legs were moving of their own accord, and his lightsaber powered up. He lifted it, and Hux stared up at Ren, his face a blank state.  
  
Ren’s arm went to swing down, but Ren froze. Hux’s eyes were screaming, almost begging Ren not to listen to Snoke. Ren could _feel_ the soft prayers Hux was letting off, and Ren dropped his lightsaber.  
  
It landed on the button and powered down, rolling slowly away from him. Ren dropped to his knees, and slowly reached out to put his hand on Hux’s chest, gasping for breath.  
  
“I can’t do it. Let him live, please, exile him, exile I, but _let him live_ ; I beg of you, Supreme Leader.”  
  
There was a deep, menacing laugh that filled the room, that curled around Ren’s body and made his skin crawl, but he focused on Hux. The General smiled weakly, and gripped onto Kylo’s hand.  
  
“Thank you, Re-”  
  
Hux’s words cut off quickly, and his eyes widened as he gasped out, struggling for breath. Ren could feel the Force being concentrated down on Hux’s throat and he just stared.  
  
He tried to scream, he tried to move, he tried to do _something_ but all he could do was stare down at Hux in his lap. The General was struggling, his body weakly thrashing, clawing at his throat.  
  
Ren flinched away, staring at the _indent_ on Hux’s throat. Blood vessels popped in the man’s eyes, and tears started welling in Ren’s eyes.  
  
Then it was over, and Hux lay still, staring unseeing at the ceiling of the room.  
  
“You let your emotions get in the way, Ren. That was the downfall of your grandfather; he allowed his son to get in the way of his ambitions. Family and relationships are strictly **_not_** allowed, do you understand me?”  
  
“Y-Yes, Leader Snoke.”  
  
“Go and rest; you have a big day tomorrow.”  
  
Kylo nodded but didn’t move. He continued staring down into Hux’s eyes, and he reached out to gently close the man’s eyelids.  
  
Kylo was thrown across the room, slamming into the hard, metal wall, and he wheezed, eyes finally being dragged from Hux’s body to stare at Snoke’s hologram.  
  
Kylo slowly rose to his feet, and left, stumbling over his own feet in his rush to get to the privacy of his chambers.

-xox-

Kylo hugged his knees to his chest, in nothing but his underwear – it was his usual sleeping attire – just staring at the wall.  
  
Snoke had just killed one of the most powerful men in The First Order as though he were nothing; crushed his throat as though he were nothing more than an irritating ant underneath Snoke’s boot.  
  
Snoke had killed Kylo’s lover as though he were a mere play toy that Snoke had gotten bored with, throwing him to one side, as a child might do.  
  
Kylo wanted to cry. He wanted to scream and destroy something, but that made something in his chest scream out because _Hux wouldn’t be there to tell him off for destroying the ship_.  
  
It took Kylo time to process. It took him time.  
  
But then he heard someone screaming and it took him a few seconds to realise it was him.  
  
His alarm clock flew across the room, smashing against the wall. His bedside table was ripped apart, and sharp wood skewered itself through the thick, metal walls. The pipes in the ‘fresher were ripped from the wall, and the sound of running water was vaguely there in Kylo’s ears.  
  
The one picture he had of him and Hux smashed against the wall and then Kylo’s screaming stopped. He rushed across the room and threw himself to the ground, gently moving glass out of the way to pick the photo up.  
  
They’d been allowed a few days break, and Hux had taken Kylo, Phasma and himself to an old, abandoned beach planet. Kylo had been messing around, making seaweed float into the air, and rest itself in Hux’s hair, seeing how much he could get in the man’s hair before he realised. When Hux _did_ eventually realise, instead of flipping out, he had pinned Kylo to the sand and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. Phasma had caught a picture of them both smiling at each other, just as a rare bubble of laughter escaped Kylo’s lips.  
  
The picture had been framed in both Hux’s and Kylo’s separate rooms; hidden away from anyone who might have entered their rooms, but where they could both see it at night as they slept.  
  
Finally, the dam broke.  
  
Kylo punched the wall, not caring that it dented, and started screaming again. He kept punching the wall, punching, kicking, and releasing his Force onto it. He kept going at it until there was an ear-screeching sound of metal dragging on metal and a huge chunk ripped out of it.  
  
The Knight of Ren in the room next door stared at Kylo with wide eyes, looking terrified, and Kylo turned his back, using his Force to shove the section of wall back into place.  
  
There was knocking at his door, and Kylo slumped for a moment. His trousers flew into his outstretched hand, and he was quick to pull them on before he folded the picture without looking at it, slipping it into his pocket.  
  
Stalking through his rooms, he was quick to hold his head up high as his door opened.  
  
“Captain Phasma.”  
  
“My Lord, I was asked to check on you.”  
  
“I am fine.”  
  
Phasma nibbled on her lips. Kylo realised with a jolt she wasn’t wearing her helmet; it sat under her arm, against the rest of her armour. She was bearing her face to him.  
  
“Everyone can hear you; we can feel your Force... Ren is there- STAND DOWN!”  
  
Kylo hadn’t registered his hand shooting out, collecting his lightsaber from where the droid had placed it when it brought it back. He hadn’t registered his thumb pressing the button, and the blade powering up.  
  
Now, he registered the thick, black streak through Phasma’s armour, smoke curling from the hole as she stumbled back. He breathed heavily, powered his lightsaber off and used his force to return it to the side.  
  
Shaking, he had to grip to the wall to stay upright.  
  
“My name is Lord Kylo; use it, _Captain_ , or I will report you to Leader Snoke for insubordination.”  
  
Phasma’s eyes widened a little, but she turned, taking a breath.  
  
“As you wish, Lord Kylo.”  
  
Kylo stepped back, and his door shut tight, only for the tears to start falling once more. He stumbled back through to his bed chambers, collapsing on his palette. He rolled around, and made a mental note to send for a repairs droid. For the moment being, he reattached the pipes in the ‘fresher as best he could, and then rolled over.  
  
He stared at the one silken pillow, next to the ragged, rough one that Kylo rested his head on.  
  
It was the one thing Hux insisted on, never being able to find sleep on Kylo’s own pillows and, slowly, the Knight reached out to slowly pull the silken material under his head.  
  
Resting his head on it, the soft scent of Hux filtered into his sense of smell, and tears welled up again. Carefully, he took the picture from his pocket, stuck it to the wall his palette was pressed up against, and let the scent and sight of Hux send him off to a nightmare-fuelled sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Fuck me for writing this, why do I take angst requests, fuck this Twitter thread in particular.
> 
> Twitter: @rickyslilhorror  
> Tumblr: i-look-so-good-in-blue.tumblr.com


End file.
